A new year: Rising with rest in mind
Reading time: 3 minutes + 30 sec0ndsSummer 2022, I joined an organic moms group catalyzed by the debut of Ambitious Like a Mother. Neha Mandhani was one of them. She’s the author of a Motherly essay on the double standards in motherhood. The international group met monthly via Zoom where we unpack our lives in and beyond motherhood.
One conversation with Neha and Alison unpacked riches and the meaning of living a wealthy life. I’ve been reflecting a lot on my perceptions of wealth in the context of time and grief. What is time? Who gets to determine the pace of time? What values are projected on time in the workplace? At School… in life?
One morning before school drop off, I was calculating how much I had left. Workout? Check. Showered? Check. Steamed my face? Check. Kid dressed? Check. Breakfast? Check. While gazing at the clock, time was moving faster than I wanted (who can relate?!). It didn’t help I still felt the residual slug since having the rona for the first time.
“Kaiden 5 more minutes than we have to go,” I said earnestly while rushing around. Kaiden was getting ready, but slower, and not a pep to be found in his step. Suddenly, time was hitting closer to school start and I just knew we were going to be late. “Kaiden! We have to go now!” I said firmly.
It only took a few words from him to set my clocks back further than daylight savings time. “Mom, I know. I don’t like it when we go so fast,” he sighed. At that moment, I paused and listened. I apologized and said we could go slower (he was right and we were already late). It didn’t help at drop off that he wanted more hugs than my work day could afford. To work I went.
The rest of the day I reflected on the hustle culture that Nap Ministry founder, Tricia Hersey's Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto describes too well. She unpacks how our world engineers unruly levels of productivity out of our bodies and minds to gain top dollars.
Sadly, productivity spells often begin in the school system. Specific time set before considered late for class. Specific time set to use the restroom, eat, and play (if even permissible). Specific time set for mastery of skills (e.g., tests, reading, and homework). I’m not here to debate these practices, but simply offering examples where productivity standards are pushed with the expectation of compliance by students and caregivers.
I’m almost done reading Rest is Resistance and doing so laying down as Hersey strongly recommends. I’ve never been so awakened and committed to finding more paths to slow down and accept ease.
Important to note, Hersey’s not lost on the poverty pay/wage thefts that pang generations and exasperate racial inequities. For instance, Hersey talks about the growing body of studies showing the disproportionate sleep gaps between Black and White Americans.
“We can build, rest, and usher in a new way that centers liberation and care, no matter what the systems continue to do. Rest is a portal. Silence is a pillow. Sabbath our lifetime. Pausing our compass. Go get your healing. Be disruptive. Push back. Slow down. Take a nap.”
"You have to act as if it were possible to radically transform the world." - Angela Davis
I’m resolved more than ever, to impress rest upon myself and the people around me. So when I saw a mother still finding steady after losing her beloved father, I saw her humanity. I said “hey sis, I’m here for your best version. Accept your right to say less, do less, be less. Trust you’ll always be more than enough.”
To me, relentlessly claiming rest is the wealthiest thing you can do especially oppressed people. It’s the most divine thing we unconditionally deserve. May time to slow down always be in your cards.
The gifts in the message:
Get your copy of Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto by Nap Ministry Founder, Tricia Hersey. It’s pure gold.
“Who would we be if we weren’t just trying to survive?” (Interview with Rachel Cargle, Harper’s BAZAAR)
Fun fact: Koala’s sleep for 22 hours a day. Wild!
Reflection questions: What are your values related to time? If you live with others, what values on time are projected in your household? If you work, what values of time are projected in the workplace? What about embracing rest/slowing productivity levels may feel challenging? How do you allow others to have ease? …For yourself?