Ready or not, here I run

estimated reading time: 2 minutes

“Run until it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

That’s what my ultra running partner told me as we began our run. It was a cold wintry day and a warm gesture as I unpacked tough moments that launched 2024 into a wild ride. This run took me to a new milestone. 13 miles to be exact. The same amount of distance I’d soon experience in Miami for my first official half marathon. This run was all of the emotions. Life was life-ing and it hurt. To get through, I had to run the pain away. I cussed, I yelled, I cried, and I was determined to finish.

By the 10th mile I didn’t think I could finish. My legs, rock tight and my feet, barely lifted above the trail surface. One could easily blame the weather, but I knew deep down that something else internally was festering. Despite the pain, surprisingly, I never stopped to walk or rest. I just kept going.

“Pick a point in the distance, run to it, then find your next point,” she continued. I took her words to mean incremental over breakthrough. That those who win, find their pace; their marathon over their sprint.

Dedication runs were also something she recommended. This run was for Kaiden.

Photo of Kaiden adorned with mom’s race medal overlayed by a beach with backdrop of the ocean and sunrise.

While dedicated, I felt utterly exhausted and just wanted to walk. I wanted to give up. Mentally it hurt, physically it hurt, emotionally…hurt. These very moments reminded me of all the times I taught high school students about Nike ads. To understand the power of marketing, I helped them see the predictability of them. The formula, credited to Graeme Newell: challenge, in the zone, doubt and suffering, rededication, and ultimate victory. I felt like I was in a Nike ad and it paused at doubt and suffering.

Life at times really feels like massive loads of doubt and suffering with no end in sight. Who can relate?

Photo of Jocelyn running with intense agony nearing the finish line.

Especially when we push ourselves a little more, to new limits, our bodies can experience amazing strengths. This day that little bit more was more than worth it. I owed it to myself to let go of what was painful and channel it into the strength and courage I needed to push beyond odds.

So, like gears on a machine my legs kept dusting the pavement. Even the act of slowing down kicked my feet forward. My inner energizer came out. Fun fact: I get excited running up hills. It might be facade. Much like the Rocky epic stairs scene, It’s the one moment when I can’t see the top, the other side, but have full confidence something beautiful will meet me. Something always has too.

Photo of a focused Jocelyn running on the race course.

“We’re almost to the tunnel, stay with me,” she continued. At this point she was a good quarter mile or more ahead. She was right about the distance. I saw the light at the tunnel and grew emotional. Tears streamed. It felt like I was almost at the finish line and just had to hold on a little longer. No point in giving up now. I made it.

I made it to mile 13. I celebrated with a big barrel roar the way my favorite champions celebrate. The rest of the day, I rested. “You walk like an ostrich,” Kaiden said. It hurt to laugh. It was brutally beautiful.

Photo of Jocelyn running across the half marathon finish line in Miami Beach.

I’ve been running on and off through the years. I even ran cross country in high school placing 9th and 11th in a few city meets. It took me up until 2024 (17-ish years later)… accomplishing this 13 mile run to realize an uncomfortable truth — That my body loves running and that I should love running back.

Whether you’re running literal marathons this year or running some other life campaign, keep going. The world is better because of your rising, staying true, and chasing your dreams.